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I am in need of clarity. So much so I am having a hard time focusing on writing this post without distraction from email notifications, text messages, checking my Facebook, checking the SMPS NEO Twitter account, my personal emails; yes that is plural, phone calls, my own thoughts, and back and forth to the coffee pot. And this is just at work. And this is day two...With all of these distractions it’s amazing I can ever feel a sense of accomplishment.

How is it possible to really get anything done these days?

I know that statement is rather cliché, but it’s true. And the more I am realizing I am living in a world of ‘noise’ the more I am realizing I am addicted to it, and loathe it. I am an addict. It’s true, don’t judge. I am a seven-day week, sprinting-this-marathon-life, no-rest-for-success –or-social-interaction, to-do lists-pushing, productivity-driven, cram-as-much-into-my-day freak of nature.

No wonder I am a restless sleeper.

And what exactly is the payoff of living this unrelenting lifestyle? To feel a sense of accomplish. Yet I rarely do. The payoff is nothing. But I can’t stop and I can’t slow down. The sign of a true addict. However a new leaf is turning thanks to some amazing people in my life. I am beginning to crave silence and solitude (the good kind), and clarity and refreshment that stems from shutting down and shutting off.  I have my moments of non-stop marathon weekends, but sprinkled throughout the first two months of this year, I have taken time to slow down. Not stop completely, but sit, stationary, and do nothing. It’s uncomfortable.

All too often we fall into these small tasks that are then extended, expanded and blown well out of proportion. All too often we lack living in the ‘now’ and living in the future, yet complain about how quickly time is flying by and what happened to the past? ‘Where did this year go?’ You ask. It was there, but you were too busy looking ahead. The more we look ahead and the quicker we disregard the present, the sooner we lose our foundation, roots and purpose for living.

We are so focused on where we are going, that we don’t know where we are now, or where we started. My weekends fly by leaving me overwhelmed and hoping for a third day to relax, but let’s be honest, a third day means the opportunity to get more and more accomplished done.

Evolution is a slow phenomenon; it’s not on a measurable timetable, deadline-based, 9-5 -40-hour work week. By definition, evolution is a process of gradual, peaceful, progressive change or development, as in social or economic structure or institutions. It’s a motion incomplete in itself, but combining with coordinated motions to produce a single action, as in a machine.

The evolution of life changes over time. It takes aging, maturity, and experience. From experience come outcomes either positive or negative with some lesson learned. From this comes motivation and striving toward success. Success is not attainable, and if it is, it’s not instantaneous. It’s a progression. It takes time, patience and development.

We as a nation rush everything. Everything including what we cannot control. Our youth are growing up too fast; childhood is stunted into a long adolescents. People have named their children prior to their births, etc. Is it any wonder there are more ‘adult children’ relying on their parents for financial support?

We evolved from toddlers and children who were told to solo-task —just eat your dinner, do your homework without the TV, don’t run with scissors — to adults who are told to, and awarded for multi-tasking.  We have evolved into a nation who check email in bed, drive and text, workout while reading magazines, attend social functions and update statuses.   

Without the opportunity to live and evolve at a natural pace of life, we have lost our foundation to whatever the next new thing is.  Whether it is the newness of experience or location, social media and the web, we as a society have woven ourselves into tangle web. This web has us tangled in chaos and the noise we use to keep us moving at this unrelenting speed.

This noise is anything that distracts us from the task at hand, and pushes us toward the next task, the next event, the next reason to be short with friends and family, complain toward others impatience while ours is equally limited.  We are chasing down false successes, living in storage closets with the façade of a home, filling them with false senses of happiness.  

Don’t believe me? Go to an estate sale. Unfortunately, when we leave this world, all this stuff just sit there and waits for someone to throw it out, donate it or sell it online.

I was recently conversing with a total stranger leaving my building about the weather in February. In Northeast Ohio we have had such severe weather with record low temperatures and wind chills as has most of the country. The pipes in my house have burst three times and thankfully thawed a fourth. Long story short, people are tired of this winter. Yet, if we think of winter and the season in a matter of weeks rather than months, we are in the home stretch. However, my converser mentioned how long February is. ‘You know, it’s the longest month of the year! I just want this to be over!’

Her statement ‘I just want this to be over!’ struck a chord in me. We can’t wait. We can’t wait for anything. We can’t wait to do whatever it is we have to do, and then when we are finally there, we can’t wait for it all to be over and to be on to the next thing.  

We tend to be equally short with the people around us. Gone are the slow meals, sleeping in, genuine conversations with co-workers, passersby, etc.

How many times have you been excited to go to a party and then upon arrival, everyone stands around, stares at their phone, logging in, checking in and posting about where they are and all the fun they are having (on their phone). Or the bride-to-be elated until the real planning comes along, the storage of all the new trinkets and toys necessary when combining two fully stocked homes, and equally so like this winter we all ‘just can’t wait for it all to be over!’

We are lost in a web.

But why? Because we are afraid of living in the present, we are afraid to relax, we are afraid of the silence. But, from silence comes clarity, creativity and a renewal.

We yearn for social interaction yet we dodge phone calls, emails, and prefer text messages, Facebook posts and brief 136 character messages in broken English. U knw wht I mn?

At the water cooler we thoughtlessly ask vague questions and the answer is typically trivial.  How was your weekend? I’m so busy. I’m so tired. You know, it’s Monday…can’t wait for Friday! We are more apt to friend total strangers on social networks rather than learn who we sit next to at work. We are always somewhere else.

I was recently asked how ‘I was doing?’ in the office kitchen and my response of ‘You know what? I’m tired, cranky and I don’t feel like being here right now.’ Throwing a curveball, I started feeling better. And you know what? The co-worker I was chatting with said something similar back. And it felt good. Sometimes it’s ok to be off and sometimes it’s okay live on a cloud! Let’s hear about it! We’re all fine. Throw another line.  

Equally so, the weather is going to stay how it is. Winter will be winter and it will slowly transfer to spring, spring will be pretty with tulips blossoming, bird singing and patio furniture moving. Soon, we’ll find ourselves in a hot summer. And it’s going to be hot. It’s probably going to be humid and uncomfortable and we probably can’t wait for it to all just be over and move into fall. If these weather patterns did not occur, well I’m not too sure I’d want to be standing in my office kitchen trying to decipher what exactly is occurring outside.

Sure it’s cold, but you know what? Winter can be absolutely beautiful. And in the silence of winter and the crispness of the season comes clarity, creativity and renewal. I have been rudely awaken from this non-stop go-go-go hibernation, and I’m not waiting for this season to be over. I’m playing out in the snow. Won’t you join me in a snowball fight?