The older I get, the more I seem to voice the phrase ‘I used to.’ As in, I used to travel, a lot. I used to go to concerts. I used to go to bed after midnight and wake up a few hours later, work two jobs, go out, rinse and repeat without batting an eyelash. Like climbing and breaking through the glass ceiling at work, there is an evolution, maturation and an effort toward what we do on a daily basis. I often discuss interests in my life I consider ‘non-negotiable.’
I use this phrase mainly toward maintaining a healthy lifestyle and staying active. In the last year I have started to use and promote the phrase ‘health before work.’ And I use it both literally as in go to the gym or run before work; and figuratively as in my physical and mental health should not be negatively affected by my job and its responsibilities.
Too often we are over worked, we are in chairs for eight to nine plus hours each day, letting our physical and mental-self die on the vine just to get one more email sent, one more phone call, and one more thing crossed off the list. I must ask you as I often have to ask myself; ‘to what purpose?’ Work and opportunity to achieve and accomplish one more thing will be there, but time is fleeting.
It really wasn’t until my younger brother who is leaving a great position at a great company in several days to move to NYC did I really have a gut check toward things I ‘used to do’ or ‘want to do and just never had the time to.’
I find myself sitting here now having not taken a vacation – even a domestic roadtrip in 14 months and I find myself scared toward what I have become. Am I that girl that just works now? Have I lost my sense of adventure?
In a resent discussion with a long-lost friend (let’s just call her Gladis for privacy’s sake), she thanked me for showing her a life with a greater sense of adventure. This conversation stems back to a trip we embarked on in Spain and the freedom to just live. It’s that same sense I have felt I have lost and asked her to show me how to find it again.
If I refer back to my first blog post on ‘do one thing each day that you fear’ then I am living it. I fear I am becoming someone who is in a routine, becoming complacent and concerned to take a vacation because ‘I just have so much to do.’
Ultimately, this is a question on what it means to be successful and what it means to find my own and one’s own personal success. It is a blurry topic and tends to be different per person. Often times the chase toward success clouds our judgment, our manners and social etiquettes. It changes our values, how we treat others, what we sacrifice to obtain this ‘success.’ The drive toward success can lead us to insanity and false fulfillment of what truly matters.
After working non-stop, and I mean non-stop-24/7 job, Gladis who I met in culinary school, quit her job in November 2013 after taking a week’s vacation ‘and realized I hated my job and my life was passing me by!’ she stated. So, Gladis moved to a spacious country home with her significant other on the far eastside of Cleveland with an amazing backyard and a large pond, and is living a calmer, simpler life.
She was on track toward a very successful career path with a company featured on two television show series’, and well-known within the hospitality, catering and restaurant industry in Cleveland. She sacrificed her holidays, weekends, social, physical and emotional life to climb the ladder and in the process burned herself out.
Gladis is planning to enjoy the holidays, relax and reprocess her position on success. ‘I need to figure out what will make me happy and go for it. No more 24/7 work. If I honestly live within my means, I am happy. I really am a simple person…so ultimately my time is really the best salary.’
That last statement, ‘time is really the best salary’ struck a chord. She’s right. Time is our most valuable and also abused asset. We spend our time like millionaires when we should really spend it like strict, penny-pinching, couponers.
Getting paid in life’s experiences is more valuable than any currency. There is no return policy, no alterations, and no discounts. It’s simple. For me, this is success. It can be simple if we allow ourselves to let go, to put the keyboard down, and raise our gaze about our monitors. Success should be more about others than ourselves, and less about material goods and financial wealth. It should be focused on helping one another. In this, what we give, we get back.
While Gladis determines what’s next and what her dreams entail, I am transported back to September 8th sitting and discuss dream jobs with one of my Crossfit coaches. ‘What is your dream job?’ It was stated so spontaneously and actually caught me off guard. My response? ‘Travel the world as a personal chef to musical acts on tour.’ This is the gosh darn truth too. I felt hokey exposing this truthful yet completely ridiculous sounding pipedream, but it is true. I love to cook for others, I love to travel and I love music. It seems like the perfect combination! In response to his question, I turned the question on him. ‘Honestly, I think it’s helping other people make their lives better.’ After my gut of selfish success was settled, my perspective on what was valuable to personal success was enlightened once again. Success and happiness are simple and are simply made better when shared together.
Like the new commercials for Chinet disposable plates, ‘Rediscovering the Lost Art of Getting Together’ ‘There was a time when being social drove people to houses, not homepages. Doorbells rang more frequently than cellphones. Success isn’t about status, money, or selfish dreams. It’s about happiness, helping others and the time we take to experience life’s moments.